homo for the holigays

Ho, ho, hoooooly shit! We've returned with an interfaith spectacular to jingle your bellas. Tales of holiday cheer will be slowly revealed to you in a teasing, sensual manner by the emaciated, clammy, arthritic, pincer-like hand claws of Christmas past, present, and future.

We don't know about ya'll pagans, but our nipples are bleeding in stigmata-inspired religious transcendence at the prospect of such unspeakable joy.

New Year's Seductions by ventura.ivs
WARNING: fortune cookie foreplay, fem slash
fucking!lauren x bicurious!bella

You can't change a horse mid stream. A gentlemen is one who puts half his weight on elbows. Your lucky numbers: 4, 68, 90, 12, killyourself

The True Meaning of Christmas by MadAsAHatter37
WARNING: underage native american werewolves being fed alcohol, poppers, and compliments by older, affluent white men.
tocatchah!Carlisle x Scruge!ward x rape!cob

Edward Cullen, once a great believer in the traditional American Christmas, has shied from the sour teet of Kris Kringle. Growing despondent, as perpetual seventeen-year-olds are prone to do, Edward now believes Christmas to be a "Hallmark Holiday" conceived by the liberal agenda and perpetuated by the bargain-starved lower-classes to pervert God and country. Carlisile, the world's most misunderstood white woman,  wants his son to be reminded of the true-true spirit of the holidays. Unfortunately, bad boys like Edward only get one thing from Santa. Gang raped by their fathers and girlfriend's best friends.

Emmett's Hannukah Challenge by lexiecullen17
WARNING: gurl.
Dr.Dad!Carlisle x ED!ward x boring!bella

Oye vey Maria. Lounging in his home office reading a medical journal and rubbing his socked feet together while Dr. Phil plays on mute in the background, Carlisle's asshole begins to twitch and flutter. Sensing that his son is again in need of his help, Carlisle spits his gum and gets to work. This story leaves you with the sad aftertaste of a manischewitz hangover. Mazel Tov!





New Year's Seductions by ventura.ivs
The True Meaning of Christmas by MadAsAHatter37
Emmett's Hannukah Challenge by lexiecullen17