homo for the holigays

Ho, ho, hoooooly shit! We've returned with an interfaith spectacular to jingle your bellas. Tales of holiday cheer will be slowly revealed to you in a teasing, sensual manner by the emaciated, clammy, arthritic, pincer-like hand claws of Christmas past, present, and future.

We don't know about ya'll pagans, but our nipples are bleeding in stigmata-inspired religious transcendence at the prospect of such unspeakable joy.

New Year's Seductions by ventura.ivs
WARNING: fortune cookie foreplay, fem slash
fucking!lauren x bicurious!bella

You can't change a horse mid stream. A gentlemen is one who puts half his weight on elbows. Your lucky numbers: 4, 68, 90, 12, killyourself

The True Meaning of Christmas by MadAsAHatter37
WARNING: underage native american werewolves being fed alcohol, poppers, and compliments by older, affluent white men.
tocatchah!Carlisle x Scruge!ward x rape!cob

Edward Cullen, once a great believer in the traditional American Christmas, has shied from the sour teet of Kris Kringle. Growing despondent, as perpetual seventeen-year-olds are prone to do, Edward now believes Christmas to be a "Hallmark Holiday" conceived by the liberal agenda and perpetuated by the bargain-starved lower-classes to pervert God and country. Carlisile, the world's most misunderstood white woman,  wants his son to be reminded of the true-true spirit of the holidays. Unfortunately, bad boys like Edward only get one thing from Santa. Gang raped by their fathers and girlfriend's best friends.

Emmett's Hannukah Challenge by lexiecullen17
WARNING: gurl.
Dr.Dad!Carlisle x ED!ward x boring!bella

Oye vey Maria. Lounging in his home office reading a medical journal and rubbing his socked feet together while Dr. Phil plays on mute in the background, Carlisle's asshole begins to twitch and flutter. Sensing that his son is again in need of his help, Carlisle spits his gum and gets to work. This story leaves you with the sad aftertaste of a manischewitz hangover. Mazel Tov!





New Year's Seductions by ventura.ivs
The True Meaning of Christmas by MadAsAHatter37
Emmett's Hannukah Challenge by lexiecullen17

Penis People

O.M.G.Y.G, we saw Breaking Dawn for the first time last night and we can hardly believe that after all this time it is finally here. It. was. AMAHZENG. Mostly because the plot was turned on its face and had its ass pried open. But we are also sad because we have to wait a whole nother fucking year to see the end of it. We won't go into detail cause of spoilers and shit, but honestly, if you don't want spoilers you shouldn't have read the forth book.

BELLA DIES IN THE END.


I'm WHAT HE'S WHAT? by Mikesh: Chaps. 1-3
WARNING: mpreg, slash, character death, not for the sanitive of hearing
Sm!ella x Jerk!Ward x TwatWaffle!Jacob

O.M.E. hold the mustard! Total drama island! Bella just wanted to spend some quality time with her bestie, Jake, before her wedding, but instead all she got was killed by a biker gang. Nao every1 h8s Jacob for not protecting her. Then through a series of unintentionally hilarious and confusing non events, Jacob becomes preggo with Edward's ego!

Tonya & Rosalie's Lovescapades by VampireLove 1919: Chaps. 1-3
WARNING: womyn with a "y", fem slash, body image affirmation, pussy drum circles, mother earth
Tegan!Tonya x Sara!Rosalie

Many people believe vaginas are frightening deli counters full of mysterious meats and cheeses, but not these box lunch pros. If vaginas were cottages, they'd rent one for the summer. Tonya and Rosalie reinvigorate female sexual archetypes in the name of lezzy love. Ladies, get your pussies out and start drumming. No penis people allowed.

I'm WHAT HE'S WHAT? by mikesh
Tonya & Rosalie's Lovescapades by VampireLove 1919

S.978/SOPA/IP ACT UPDATES: 

As stated at the end of the podcast, S.987 is now being discussed by congress. 700,000 signatures have been delivered by opponents (yay us!), but it still looks as though this bill could pass. So, at this point we harass our congressional representatives to represent our feelings in these discussions. Check out the links below to identify and contact your representative.

SIGN THE PETITION
FIND YOUR CONGRESSIONAL REP

If you're still not convinced that S.978 is a big deal, here is a video that explains the bill better than we ever could.