Penis People

O.M.G.Y.G, we saw Breaking Dawn for the first time last night and we can hardly believe that after all this time it is finally here. It. was. AMAHZENG. Mostly because the plot was turned on its face and had its ass pried open. But we are also sad because we have to wait a whole nother fucking year to see the end of it. We won't go into detail cause of spoilers and shit, but honestly, if you don't want spoilers you shouldn't have read the forth book.

BELLA DIES IN THE END.


I'm WHAT HE'S WHAT? by Mikesh: Chaps. 1-3
WARNING: mpreg, slash, character death, not for the sanitive of hearing
Sm!ella x Jerk!Ward x TwatWaffle!Jacob

O.M.E. hold the mustard! Total drama island! Bella just wanted to spend some quality time with her bestie, Jake, before her wedding, but instead all she got was killed by a biker gang. Nao every1 h8s Jacob for not protecting her. Then through a series of unintentionally hilarious and confusing non events, Jacob becomes preggo with Edward's ego!

Tonya & Rosalie's Lovescapades by VampireLove 1919: Chaps. 1-3
WARNING: womyn with a "y", fem slash, body image affirmation, pussy drum circles, mother earth
Tegan!Tonya x Sara!Rosalie

Many people believe vaginas are frightening deli counters full of mysterious meats and cheeses, but not these box lunch pros. If vaginas were cottages, they'd rent one for the summer. Tonya and Rosalie reinvigorate female sexual archetypes in the name of lezzy love. Ladies, get your pussies out and start drumming. No penis people allowed.

I'm WHAT HE'S WHAT? by mikesh
Tonya & Rosalie's Lovescapades by VampireLove 1919

S.978/SOPA/IP ACT UPDATES: 

As stated at the end of the podcast, S.987 is now being discussed by congress. 700,000 signatures have been delivered by opponents (yay us!), but it still looks as though this bill could pass. So, at this point we harass our congressional representatives to represent our feelings in these discussions. Check out the links below to identify and contact your representative.

SIGN THE PETITION
FIND YOUR CONGRESSIONAL REP

If you're still not convinced that S.978 is a big deal, here is a video that explains the bill better than we ever could.

Tender Rape

art by sugarpoultry

Time for some homespun grab-assed tomfoolery, but first we would like to remind everyone that we have launched the WEBCOMIC and we are now on twitter under the handle @_ctkblk


Uncontrolled Frustration: Chaps. 5-7
WARNING: slash, incestrophelia, corporal punishment, familial hurl/comfort, soothing back rubs, blazing bottoms, disregard for the fifth commandment
Daddy!Carlisle x ED!Bitchward

Emmett has received his punishment and now it is Edward's turn. Daddy bear Carlisle is displeased by Bitter Betty Edward's 'tude and serves up a full-service, erotically humiliating cuddle rape 'n run.

I Found Love Akon 22 by LovelyBeba
WARNING: RYOKOOOOOOOO, SUP'A KAWAII, way over prices, slutty raver vogue
Jacob!chan x Sam!sama
**our selection for WINNER of the SlashBackSlash 3.0 Contest**

NANI?!!1?? During their annual trip to Project Akon, Jacob finds love in the deep chocolate and chisel of a mysterious masked J-Rocker.

Uncontrolled Frustration by reading is my addiction
I Found Love Akon 22 by LovelyBeba

Heavenly Delights

BEHOLD. It has arrived on the whispers of an angel's wing, The Cullen The Kettle Black web comic site!!

The Gods delight in it and so too shall YOU!

Must Luv Dawgz

The time has finally come. THE EXCITING CONCLUSION TO DARK LOVE. Sort of. We drilled for bile and exhausted all the riches this fic has to offer (at this time).

Dark Love: Chaps. 9-10
WARNING: premarital, sinful, same-sex, high calorie  DickLover's pizza
ChrisBown!Fat!Sam x RihannaMcDonald!CumDumpster!Quil

Fat!Sam has finally succeeded in his plan to dickmatize CumDupster!Quil with his dickmanship. Chaserno1 has finally succeeded in convincing us that our own day-to-day relationships are abnormal without the existence of rape. RAPE = LOVE

It's like the classic romantic comedy where Tom Hanks shows Meg Ryan what she's been missing in her life by turning into a big-handed dog rapist and lavishing her with anal fissures (spoil, spoil, covet).  She doesn't want to let him into the perfect life she's made for herself... AT FIRST.  But her girlfriends show her that if she can just see the light, she'll realize that he's a really... sincere guy.

After all is said and done, a hemmhorrage in your b-hole is just the fear of BEING HAPPY leaving your body.
Yeah. This is like that.
Go find your rapist and love him like you'll never let go, Jack.

Dark Love by Chaserno1

Rape On a Hot Tin Roof

A rapealicious rapecation for your brain.

Fat!Sam doesn't want to know your name, all he wants is BANG, BANG, BANG! ... And maybe some cuddles afterward.

It's open season on CumDumpster!Quil's ass as Dark Love by Chaserno1 continues with chapters 5 & 6.

Dark Love by Chaserno1

URBAN WEREWOLVES RUNNING RIOT!

Apparently the sons of Levi Uley and Ephraim Black  were made to submit to the true alpha, 

WOLFIE BLACKHEART!

Fat!Sam

Good Day Kind Sirs!


Keeping it moist on the intarwebzz- here we're  all about keeping your information highway walls slick by bringing you the best of the worst of erotic online fanfics, all based on the greatest fanfiction ever written: Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga.  Twilight is everything that is good in fanfiction; a slow burn of bad writing, meandering plot, and unresolved sexual tension resulting in four minutes of sex followed by forty minutes of crying.  But you know, four books just wasn't enough-And we're left with a huge hole to fill.... huge!  So here's to DPing the fuck outta this shit.
So many holes.... so little time.
Enjoy.





Dark Love: Chap. 1
WARNING: RAPE! sumptuous PRONZ, sins of the fleeeeesh. It is like stroking the inner thigh of your brain.

Starring everyone's favorite chubby rapist, Fat!Sam and CumDumpster!Quil. This is a SamxQuil IMPRINT fanfic. Which is kind of the Mormon chruch giving permission to spit on it and shove it in. It is also a RAPE fic (our favorite), buuuuuuut if Quil would a.) stop dressing so seductively, b.) not paint himself up like a whore, and c.) lay back and enjoy it.... it wouldn't be rape.

Anyways, without further ado, here is DARK LOVE by chaserno1